resolution this

by think_likeafox

One of my resolutions this year (which, lets face it… will be broken within a few days. I just know myself) is to try to be healthier. There are a few extra pounds kicking around here that I’ve been politely asking to leave the premises – you know, carefully worded letters, uncomfortable silences, frustrated and heated arguments with the landlord – but they’re just being ever so stubborn so I’ve decided maybe, as a last ditch effort, to light a metaphorical fire under everything and try to smoke the f*ckers out. I’m like a hostage negotiator who knows the textbook phone placating/make-friends-with-them calls aren’t getting through so you call in the amplifiers and put Nicki Minaj or Avril Lavigne or Katy Perry on blast until they just can’t take it anymore and throw themselves through the nearest window just to get some peace and quiet already.

What was I getting at? Something to do with being healthy blah blah blah. Basically, I’m cutting down on my vices. Mostly no crap food (sorry to my favourite fast food haunts… I’ll be back some day) and no eating after a certain time. Tick tock.

I won’t be cutting back on the wine though. I know it has a lot of sugar and the alcohol is all empty calories but it’s like a warm hug on a cold day! (We’re in store for a lot of those) And you can’t discount the antioxidants. What did Dr Oz say about it? I know he said something. I’m too lazy to Google search it.

Tonight I’m eating a boring chicken with grilled vegetables. Last time I “got healthy” I ate this shit all the time. It’s not terrible. But it would be so much better with the red I just bought. But I can’t find the bottle opener. I’ve practically torn the house apart looking for it. It’s not a very big house and there aren’t many places to look. You’d think I smoke pot with the way my memory works. This does not bode well for the future. I feel like maybe I took it somewhere (why… why would I do that?) or it’s under something… the bed, the couch, the other couch, the stove, the cat… (it’s not under the cat. I looked. She didn’t like it.) I’m pretty close to just bashing the neck against a stair and praying the shards don’t fall inside.

It’s a Casillero del Diablo cabernet sauv and I’ve been looking forward to it all day.